I'm Pissed

"Takuro Spirit" (takurospirit)
10/05/2017 at 16:42 • Filed to: None

(Personal Rant Below - GIS “Angry Car” for your time)

My 12yo daughter was in the gym locker room changing at school...

Classmate decided to take a friend’s tablet and record another friend dancing shirtless on the bench in the locker room. She was overheard “upload it to Instagram” or thereabouts.

I am not sure if my daughter was caught “on tape” or not, as the friend’s FATHER deleted the video from the tablet when the school called later that day to investigate (my daughter wasn’t able to tell anyone until after school had ended, as she didn’t want to be late to class for National Honors Society reasons).

School principal assured me this morning it was NOT shared, and was deleted, and corrective actions were being taken.

Found out today, friend who’s tablet it was posted it to Snapchat, sharing it with 4 boys in my daughter’s class. One of them told her. I don’t know the details of the conversation, as I have just been told by text as I am at work, but Mom and Daughter are on their way to the police station.

Still not sure if she was visible in the video, but if she was I want that (excuse my language, I’m venting here) little whore bitch and her friends expelled and the school to ban electronics brought from home. Right now they allow tablet style devices for educational purposes only, and if they have cameras they are not allowed in the gym areas but obviously security or monitoring of that rule is lax.

Ugh. Wife and daughter are at the police station. We’ll see how this goes...

DISCUSSION (29)

Chariotoflove > Takuro Spirit
10/05/2017 at 16:57

WTF? My daughter’s school allows kids to bring phones to school, but not to use them. The idea is that some kids need to be able to call parents after extra-curricular activities and such. Pads are used in class but are owned and maintained by the school and passed out for individual assignments. There is no way any personal electronics should ever be allowed in kids’ hands during the school day. I hope there was already a ban in place and that this instance was with a smuggled in tablet. Otherwise , heads need to roll in the administration.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Takuro Spirit
10/05/2017 at 16:58

Dude. That’s fucked.

I don’t envy anyone who has kids in the society we have now. Not to go all “in my day” as I’m only 25, but yeah... Things are so fucked up with the amount of social media and questionable things that come with increased connectivity and children.

I hope everything works out OK for you. I really do.

cmill189 - sans Volvo > Takuro Spirit
10/05/2017 at 17:00

Hopefully your local police are smart enough to interview your daughter at a Children’s Justice Center. I would suggest you get your venting out of the way now or before you start interacting with her. Whether she is embarrassed about this or not, if you make a scene (I’m not assuming you will or even outlying what a scene is) it will likely discourage her from coming forward about anything in the future. I’ve worked with kids for a long time and how parents react to situations like this (and much worse) plays a huge role in their disclosures. Be supportive and let her know she only has to talk about what she wants to. It might be a good idea to locate a therapist. Since the video was shared, that can be pretty traumatizing. Your state (assuming USA) has a Crime Victim Reparation program that can pay for that service if you don’t have mental health coverage on your insurance.

Scary__goongala! > Takuro Spirit
10/05/2017 at 17:02

That kind of technology(and the expense of such technology) is too much responsibility for a 12 year old. Plenty of adults still can’t handle it.

Takuro Spirit > cmill189 - sans Volvo
10/05/2017 at 17:04

I was calm and supportive last night, I will be again. Once I get out of work I’m sure I’ll hear how everything went with the police, providing they’re not still there in an hour.

Massive Idiot > Takuro Spirit
10/05/2017 at 17:05

Starting with: I am very sorry this happened and your family was put in this situation. No parent should need to worry about crap like this and it is unacceptable, 100%.

That said, kids do stupid shit all the time, and this is where I caution you. If someone decides to pursue this, even without your involvement, all involved could be charged with creating and distributing child pornography, which is a serious, serious thing. (I am, of course, assuming this was not their intent. They were just being silly.) Like... branded a sexual predator for the rest of their lives serious. Not being able to get a job serious.

I’m all for punishing the idiots, but lately there has been a lot of “using the letter of the law to defeat the spirit of the law” in similar cases.

Takuro Spirit > Chariotoflove
10/05/2017 at 17:06

They (tablets) are allowed in class for taking notes, looking up school related stuff, etc. They are forbid from the gyms/locker rooms, which is why I (and the police officer it seems) am holding the school accountable.

Phones must be in the students lockers until after school hours.

cmill189 - sans Volvo > Takuro Spirit
10/05/2017 at 17:08

Good job, dad. The other dad that deleted the video is an idiot though.

Takuro Spirit > Massive Idiot
10/05/2017 at 17:09

Not that this girl is a complete angel, mind you. There have been issues with her in the past. She comes from a broken home and her step-whatever doesn’t seem to care from what I’ve noticed.

She should have known better, or been taught better.

Punish the adults at home then.

And change the policy at school, or enforce it better.

Takuro Spirit > cmill189 - sans Volvo
10/05/2017 at 17:12

He probably thought he was doing what was best in a “Oh, that was wrong? Probably shouldn’t do that again, and better delete that” kind of way.

I get that. Not everyone thinks of the consequences, they think getting rid of the evidence is sufficient. Out of sight, out of mind and all that.

But it was already shared at that point. And they/she lied about it.

PS9 > Takuro Spirit
10/05/2017 at 17:19

Gahhhh. I have a 11 something yo in my life right now. She’s not even my daughter and I’d be megapissed if someone recorded/uploaded naked pictures of her somewhere. Gaahhhhh

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > Takuro Spirit
10/05/2017 at 17:24

Yeah, if grown-ups are having trouble with over-sharing, imagine how kids do it.

Interested in hearing how the school eventually deals with this.

Chariotoflove > Takuro Spirit
10/05/2017 at 17:30

I don’t agree with that tablet policy. Kids should be able to use school-owned tablets that can be monitored in the building, with files uploaded to a cloud when needed. I wouldn’t allow any personal tablets in the school at this age.

Takuro Spirit > Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever
10/05/2017 at 17:36

I’ll be updating for sure.

Nibby > Takuro Spirit
10/05/2017 at 17:37

Terrible. Locker room environments can bring out the worst in kids and teenagers. I hope your daughter wasn’t shown in that video. And fucking giving your kids complete unrestricted access to devices where they can do things like this is mind-boggling. Amazes me how so many parents fail to think about these things.... did you have any explaining to do about sexting and all that crap to your kid?

Takuro Spirit > Chariotoflove
10/05/2017 at 17:38

I think they figured the kids, especially those with well off parents (this is the suburbs, of course) are going to either bring them in, or fight for them to be allowed to anyways, and this is cheaper than school provided ones....

Oddly enough, my youngest is assigned a school Chromebook at her school. Why the middle school doesn’t do the same I dunno.

Takuro Spirit > Nibby
10/05/2017 at 17:40

Yeah, they had a whole thing about body consciousness, and social media, and we’ve talked at length with them. That’s why this is so unnerving to her. SHE knows its wrong, and doesn’t want it out there, and shouldn’t have been put in a situation beyond her control that it was, possibly.

garagemonkee > Takuro Spirit
10/05/2017 at 17:44

little whore bitch and her friends

Kinja'd!!!

Takuro Spirit > garagemonkee
10/05/2017 at 17:45

I said I was pissed....

Nibby > Takuro Spirit
10/05/2017 at 17:47

Not sure how it works cause they’re all minors but the girl with the tablet could (and hopefully does) get in serious trouble for what she did.

Hopefully your daughter is doing okay mentally and emotionally. I remember about a year ago my cousin asked me to talk to her teenage daughter about “social media use” and I know the kid would never do stuff like that but I let her know about the repercussions and just stay away from that shit.

Fucking hard to deal with, especially with catcalling... many female classmates, friends, and even my sister have complained about catcallers in NYC

garagemonkee > Takuro Spirit
10/05/2017 at 17:47

I get it. I’m with you entirely with the rant, that’s fucked. but calling 14 year olds whores?

Again, I cannot imagine what you’re going through, it’s shockingly stupid.

Chariotoflove > Takuro Spirit
10/05/2017 at 17:48

The Catholic high school requires families to buy laptops for the students, but that’s a different beast. It would hard to do locker room shenanigans with a laptop.

Takuro Spirit > Nibby
10/05/2017 at 17:54

She seems okay for now. She’s more nervous about retaliation I think, because the one girl is at least suspended.

If she’s nervous because the boys in her class saw it, well, then we deal with that.

Takuro Spirit > garagemonkee
10/05/2017 at 17:55

I knew some pretty promiscuous well developed 13 and 14 year olds in my school and neighborhood when I was thier age. I know what can and did happen in the wooded area behind MY middle school.

Dancing around in thier bras for a video? Pretty tame, but still whore-ish in my decidedly pissed off at the moment brain.

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > Takuro Spirit
10/05/2017 at 22:25

Ugh. I’m a grown man and I get uncomfortable when dudes in the locker room at the gym use a phone. Even though I know it’s just getting their workout playlist ready or checking a text that came in while they were running I know those things have cameras and I don’t like them out of bags. I can only imagine how bad it is for a 12 year old. I’m really struggling with where to draw the line with my 8 year old daughter. I let her play with an old iPhone 4S at home to learn how to use it but don’t let her take it anywhere. Sometimes she complains that some of her friends have phones but I know that she’s not the only one without one. Yet I know at some point I’ve got to let her have one everywhere. Anyway I guess what I’m saying is even if she wasn’t in the video it’s pretty awful and there’s a lot of other associated baggage. I hope she comes out OK and the school steps up to make the locker rooms feel safer. Keep us posted.

Nibby > Takuro Spirit
10/19/2017 at 10:01

any update?

Nibby > Takuro Spirit
10/19/2017 at 10:01

any update?

Takuro Spirit > Nibby
10/19/2017 at 10:25

Oh, yeah, whoops. Police say the video never got shared to Snapchat, it was just a rumor, and my daughter from what they know from who saw it was not in it. It was deleted off the iPad.

Not sure what punishment the girls got besides suspensions/detentions.

Nibby > Takuro Spirit
10/19/2017 at 10:38

Kinja'd!!!